My Sacrifice

I don't usually write entries about my personal life but I guess now is a perfect timing to do so. Last Monday I turned 23. I can say that in the past years, life has been so good to me. Good doesn't necessarily mean that I got all I wanted when I wanted them. Like everyone else, it has been a roller coaster ride. It had its ups and downs. I know that there were times when my faith was tested. But still I did my best to lay my sorrows on Him. Im so happy and grateful for everything that I am and for everything that I have right now. I thank God for giving me another year to appreciate the matchless beauty brought by His power. In order to show my gratitude I'll face the world with renewed hope. Raych once told me, 'don't lose hope, think about those cancer patients who never gave up their fight.'

It maybe a coincidence, but right now I can say that my Nanay's condition serves as my inspiration to continue my fight. Nanay Emma, my grandma, is a very religious lady who has this very contagious quality of being jolly. One time our grandfather teased her "you're like a saint, everybody rushes to you and shout your name out everytime you arrive." She's a very hands-on grandma. She had her part well played in raising ALL of her grandchildren. A week ago I was asked to accompany her for her biopsy. I was somehow nervous but right after we prayed the rosary I saw courage on her face, l was relieved. "Hindi tayo pababayaan ng Diyos," she said. A few days ago the result was released. It wasn't exactly what we hoped for -- advanced stage of cancer.

Though her physical and medical condition are visibly worse, you'll never see a trace of shaken faith on her. This really inspires me and it brought me to a realization. I'll fix my eyes on Him, surrender all to Him. I'll be strong amidst all the trials. No matter how painful things can be in this life, I'll accept His will with open arms. I'll even give up on things that bring selfish happiness for me especially for those efforts that go in vain. I wish I can trade all the triumphs for my grandma's betterment... and for the happiness of all the people whom she inspires. But I know that everything happens for a reason, and that there is no greater planner than the One above. As for me, I'll continue my journey and see the lighter things out of everything. My friends asked me if I had a 'happy birthday,' I said "yes, maybe not the type of happiness that you are expecting, but being given another year to spend with your family and friends is a reason enough to be happy." I thank my family, my friends and most of all Him for everything.


i'm all yours.